At times, I find myself deliberately choosing anger in order to make myself appear more masculine and confident. When I find that someone does not treat me with enough respect, I want to get angry because I wanted to appear as someone nobody dares to mess with. Anger puts me in a physiological and postural state that accentuates my masculinity, and it made my voice sound harsher and my eyes look fiercer. At times, I choose anger over mindcoolness.
Why? Because anger changes my physiology to give me the energy and confidence to carry my point, assert myself, and enforce my will. Now ask yourself: Do you choose to get angry to enforce your will? Do you need to get angry to enforce your will?
Such anger is no fruit of confidence. Such anger does not spring from self-esteem. No, such anger is rooted in insecurity—the insecurity of not being able to enforce your will without emotional backing. (And I do not even talk about the obvious insecurity of those who get angry at others just because they feel insignificant, guilty, anxious, stupid, envious, or jealous, being really just angry at themselves; for such anger is not chosen directly, but indirectly through poor lifestyle choices, not developing self-discipline, and not living the life they want to live.)
If you trust in the power of your will, if you trust in your masculine core, and if you trust in your communicative strength, you have no reason to get angry, no reason to choose anger. With mindcoolness, you can dominate and stand your ground without getting emotional.
So express your anger when you feel it, choose to feel anger when you need it as a crutch, but learn to grow independent of the crutch by developing core confidence.
How, you ask? You might start by improving your willpower to follow your True Will—check out my book Willpower Condensed.
- Is Suppressing Emotions Bad For You? (Jocko Willink Vs. Science)
- Does Catharsis of Aggression Work? The Truth about Anger Release
- The Truth about Testosterone: Aggression, Sex, and Social Status
- How Our Beliefs Undermine Our Happiness
- On the Hypermasculine Will
- 489 Life Hacks that Make You More Confident
- On Being an Aggressive Alpha Male