Whenever I listen to some of my favorite bands like Blood for Blood or King 810, I feel like a fraud.
Everyone has a darkness in his past. Everyone can sing a song of his pains and sufferings. And I, too, had my fair share of hardships, humiliations, heartbreaks, broken bones, bloody heads, and concussions.
Nonetheless, I had a privileged childhood with a functional family, working-class financial stability, universal health care, and educational opportunities. So I feel ashamed when I put “badass” in the click-bait title of my post; for that is not how a badass is built…
Sometimes I tell myself that I cannot live a badass life or act like a badass because I have not been through nearly as much shit as others for it to be legit.
I practice fasting, but I was never forced to starve. I practice fighting, but I was never forced to initiate a street fight. I practice cold exposure, but I was never forced to “pray to the night sky under one of them cold street lights” (White Trash Anthem). I expose myself to challenging, difficult situations, but I have never been to war or prison. I study trauma, but I do not suffer it.
I do not agree with the mainstream notion that a badass is a sleeve-tattooed bodybuilder wearing sunglasses on a motorcycle or that a badass is just whoever has the most confidence in a room. Confidence is contextual. From what I know, being a badass is a state of your soul rather than an outward behavior or appearance, but what do I know…
These three things, however, I have learned:
- The issue of being a badass issues from comparing yourself to others. Why do you mistrust yourself and your original being? What do you really lack in life? (Probably a good woman.)
- Seeking danger with the hope of becoming badass is an incomplete quest for manhood. Take action, take bold risks, and take your balls with you wherever you go, yes, but more important than flashy heroism are the plain, subtle virtues you can exert in your every present moment. Find little opportunities to be courageous, assertive, persistent, patient, focused, and collected in your every day. Rather than looking for new situations to be in, look for assuming a grounded attitude in the situations you are in.
- Thinking that you have not been through as much as others and that you therefore lack experience, lack perspective, lack wisdom is a scarcity mindset. The truth is: you have exactly those experiences you need in order to do your True Will, to fulfill your destiny. Whether your path is “badass” or not is just your insecurity thinking.
Further Reading: On the Hypermasculine Will