What is an introvert? Someone with a natural tendency to spend much of his time alone, to be quiet and reserved in social situations, and to reflect his opinions deeply, to analyze all the time. An extrovert, by contrast, is more inclined to be outgoing, to socialize and make new friends, and to express his opinions freely, to talk all the time.
Introversion is simply an inclination, a tendency to behave in a certain way. Any personality is essentially just that—a set of behavioral tendencies. And these tendencies imply neither an inevitable necessity nor a moral obligation.
Sometimes I hear introverts, myself included, say, “I can’t go to the club, approach all those strangers, and hit on all those chicks. I can’t go to the networking event, talk to random people, and express my opinions freely. I can’t go to the party and be the life of it, bouncing from group to group, spreading fun. I can’t because… I’m an introvert.”
That’s just a bullshit excuse, of course. A limiting belief. You have two legs to walk over to a group of strangers, right? And you have a mouth you can open so that words come out, right? Your “I can’t” is a lie. Either you don’t want to, then why are we even talking, why are you making excuses? Or you’re too shy and anxious, then that’s another problem, but not introversion; for although introversion may explain a lack of social skills, it neither justifies it nor forestalls their development.
The introvert retorts, “No, you see, I’m naturally an introvert. That’s who I am. To act like an extrovert, I’d have to be untrue to myself. I don’t want to be inauthentic. I want to be myself! And my self is introverted.”
Well, fuck who you think you are! Don’t tell yourself the lie of your personality being a ‘moral obligation’. The only obligation you have in life is to do your True Will, to do what you really want, which is: to act in line with your goals and core values. Is introversion your True Will? Is it your goal in life? Is it your highest value? No? Then fuck it!
Being alone is something you might enjoy, but it’s not a greater goal or value. Being quiet is something you might enjoy, but it’s not a greater goal or value. Being pensive is something you might enjoy, but it’s not a greater goal or value. Even if you deeply appreciate aloneness, quietness, and pensiveness as values, they cannot be absolutes, because you cannot be effective in the world if you never meet people, never speak up, and never stop thinking.
Do you sometimes want to express your opinion freely and loudly? Do you sometimes want to meet new people and approach potential business partners? Do you sometimes want to hit on women and get laid? Then fuck your introvert personality, sometimes.
Nobody should let his tendencies to behave determine his decisions to act, especially if it undermines his opportunities to succeed. No doubt, personality traits are valuable pieces of information. Being aware of your introversion provides you more self-knowledge to better do your True Will. But do not misuse psychological information as an excuse to not do what you truly want to do. Instead of being ‘true to yourself’, be true to your will!
- Don’t Be Yourself
- How to Do Your True Will
- On the Importance of Values in Life
- Does Open-Mindedness Make You Wiser or Weaker?