Many people say they’re happy because they’ve learned that optimistic thinking is good, that optimistic thoughts make them feel better.
They’ve adopted a positive mindset; now they’re convinced that they’re happy. They’ve realized that achieving goals isn’t the key to happiness; now they know they’re happy already. They’ve bought into the belief that happiness can only be found in the present moment and that they’re “enough;” now they feel that they have happiness and that their life is full of it. Now they live in spiritual abundance.
Oftentimes, however, saying “I’m happy (with my life, with who I am)” is just a defense mechanism that helps you avoid negative emotions. When you tell yourself that you’re already happy, you don’t need to risk hardship trying to achieve a goal, you don’t need to risk failure, pain, and suffering.
“I’m already happy, I don’t need to work harder and start a business.” “I’m already happy, I don’t need to make more money.” “I’m already happy, I don’t need to change my diet and lose weight.” “I’m already happy, I don’t need to learn game to be more successful with women.” “I’m already happy, I don’t need to work out to get stronger.”
Of course, this may be the truth and nothing but the truth. You don’t need economic success to be happy. You don’t need money, a lean and strong body, or female attention. You don’t need any of that. But you might. And if you’re not spiritually enlightened, you probably do.
But it’s hard to achieve those things. It’s easier to tell yourself that you’re already happy.
Now, if you’ve been reading the Mindcoolness blog for a while, you know that happiness is simply a by-product of doing your True Will. And your True Will could well be to change nothing in your life, but to keep doing what you’re doing, and to stay happy.
Yet how do you know for sure that you’re doing your True Will and that you are truly happy; that you’re not telling yourself a lie of false happiness to suppress your latent anxieties?
You can find out whether you’re truly happy or not by paying attention to how you feel—in your heart of hearts—when you see someone doing great, doing better than you, having more success than you, in any area of life.
How do you feel (and what do you think or say!) when…
- …you see politicians, bankers, or people being famous for being famous?
- …you see a woman you like flirting with another man?
- …you see someone younger than you driving a Ferrari?
- …you see people lazily enjoying their lives living off welfare?
- …you see pickup artists getting the hottest girls in the club?
- …you see a colleague getting promoted instead of you?
- …you see people speaking well of Tai Lopez?
- …you see people being inspired by Dan Bilzerian?
- …you see girls loving Kanye West or Justin Bieber?
- …you see a girl making millions of dollars just from looking pretty?
- …you see athletes or fitness models obviously lying about taking steroids?
- …you see someone bigger than you at the gym?
- …you see someone being smarter than you in class or more creative at work?
- …you see people being silly and enjoying themselves acting like clowns, talking like retards?
Do you always, in all honesty, think “Good for them,” or is there some tiny part of you that wants to say, “Sure, he might be/have this, but…”?—But what?—“But I don’t think he’s truly happy.” “But he’s just had rich parents.” “But he’s a dishonest fraud!” “But when was the last time he got laid?” “But he’s not as much of a man as I am.” “But I’m more virtuous, less corrupt.” “But he sucks at playing ping pong.”
If you never feel any anger, envy, jealousy, or grudge toward any person on the planet, then you might be enlightened, or at least truly happy—truly content—with who you are and what you have. But if there’s even the slightest sign of resentment in your heart, then know that you are not doing your True Will! And then you must strengthen your willpower to either meditate more often, or go out into the world to take action, to get after your goals, to risk unhappiness.