What Rammstein Can Teach You About Women

“Bend down, I command you. Turn your face away from me.”

rammstein women — Picture by Jonas Rogowski

I listened to a lot of Rammstein throughout my adolescence, enjoying the militaristic riffs, brute vocals, and masculine poetry. Recently, I rediscovered their music, particularly as a means to get pumped for heavy squatting, and I realized that I had never really understood what their lyrics were about. I always found them to be cool, but I was way too innocent and sexually inexperienced to truly grasp their meaning.

As I’ve now found, Till Lindemann’s lyrics reflect many of the experiences I’ve had with women over the past few years, sometimes alarmingly accurate. Here’s what I’ve learned (not mentioning any of the songs about necrophilia, sadism, sodomy, pedophilia, homosexuality, incest, etc.):

1. Don’t forget the whip

Nietzsche’s exhortation to not forget the whip when you go to women can be summed up by a single word that also brands the main lesson Rammstein teaches you about women: dominance.

Sex is a battle
Love is war
[Wollt Ihr Das Bett In Flammen Sehen?]

Equality in the bedroom doesn’t exist, unless you want equal opportunity to fall asleep. Love is a war between masculine and feminine energies (“sexual energy” isn’t some esoteric concept, it’s just an umbrella term for a certain set of values, interests, sexual preferences, thought patterns, attitudes, emotional structures, nonverbal behaviors, primal reactions to power, etc.).

Sex is a battle between the masculine and the feminine: one dominates, the other bows down. Without sexual polarity, there can be no battle, no attraction, no sex. Typically, women desire to be submissive:

Your size makes me small
You may be my punisher
[Bestrafe Mich]

The basic principle be:

Whatever pleases is allowed.
[Ich Tu Dir Weh]

Be aware, however, that the tender cruelty of your punishment must always be attuned to your playmate’s level of femininity as well as to her trust in you. Consider further that your toolbox should also contain things other than slapping, wall-pushing, and hair-pulling. You think BDSM? Well, in fact, an imperious gaze and a commanding tone might have even more captivating effects:

Deeper, deeper
Say it! Say it loud!
[Rein Raus]

In essence, rough carnal delicacies create sexual tension because they establish a leadership dynamic that provides security:

Lead me, hold me
I feel you, I won’t abandon you
[Führe Mich]

2. Daddy Issues

What do you think about this piece?

I sneak up
And speak nicely
He who wants to fuck must be kind
[Liebe Ist Für Alle Da]

First of all, it’s a myth that women only date assholes. Women date men, and sometimes they do so despite the fact that they’re assholes. The common correlation between assholes and fuckboys is typically due to an underlying set of attractive qualities such as confidence, strength, independence, and uninhibitedness. Moreover, take into account who actually is an asshole and who’s just a player:

I dismount, I have no time
I must go now to the other horses
They also want to be ridden
[Rein Raus]

When a woman finds out that her lover has multiple fuckbuddies, she’ll sometimes automatically call him an asshole, a scumbag, even if he’s the nicest guy on the planet who has never deceived, mistreated, or insulted any female.

There’s one kind of woman, however, who really falls for legit assholes: the broken girl. A damaged woman with unresolved childhood trauma, often emotional problems stemming from her father’s sternness, absence, neglect, or even abuse:

What does a woman do
What does a woman do
Who cannot tell the difference
Between beast and man

She dips the feather in his blood
And writes a letter to herself
Lifeless lines to childhood
When her father slept by her
[Tier]

Certainly, daddy issues are as prevalent among boys as they are among girls. Both share a deep longing for a strong male force in their life. Hypermasculinity and hyperfemininity seem to be common results, as are delusional overconfidence and body-image problems. Still, you might have the best sex of your life with daddy-obsessed girls.

3. “No!”

Saying NO is something everybody has to learn at some point in his or her life.

Do you want, until death do you part,
Be true to her for all days?
—No!
[Du Hast]

If you don’t want to do something, you say “no” and don’t do it. You don’t explain why, you don’t give excuses, you don’t change your decision. No means no (also, of course, if it comes from a woman, at least for the moment).

Being decisive and having personal boundaries is crucial because it signals to the woman that you’re a grounded man who’s unlikely to hide profound insecurities:

Stone by stone I wall you in
Stone by stone
I’ll always be with you
[Stein um Stein]

Such pathological dependence is among the most frightening traits to a woman. Every sign of neediness is, cognitively, a red flag and, emotionally, a huge turn-off. Women want to feel free and sheltered in their submissiveness. You must have an iron, independent Will. That’s also why you should never be a henpecked loser:

She wants it and that’s fine
So it was and so it will always be
She wants it and that’s the custom
Whatever she wants she gets
[Rosenrot]

This song tells the story of a boy who indiscriminately and servilely fulfills all of his girl’s requests. Climbing up on a mountain to fetch her a little rose, he falls down and dies.

Sure, you want to take risks for your girl, but don’t become a spineless wuss who goes out of his way to please her every whim. You always do what you want. You say NO if you want not. You follow your True Will, for only in freedom can true love exist.

4. True Love

Rammstein recorded some love songs, too: “Herzeleid,” “Ohne Dich,” and “Amour” come to my mind. Even their song about an incredibly hideous women ends on a romantic note:

Where life beats
To see with the heart
She is gorgeous
[Morgenstern]

5. Sex is Simple

To balance out that last paragraph’s cheesiness, watch the official video of their song Pussy (not safe for work):

The main message “Dick + Pussy = Problem Solved” is as valuable as it is crude, especially in this day and age where more and more young men are led to believe that getting laid is so complicated that you’d need to study “pickup” by reading books, watching videos, and buying online courses. As Chris from Good Looking Loser puts it, “Look Good + Talk to Women = Mad Pussy.”

How do you talk to women?

You’ve got a pussy
I have a dick, ah
So what’s the problem?
[Pussy]

Not really, haha. You can just talk like a normal human being as long as you’re physically proactive. Still, that’s kind of the self-talk you’ll adopt once you’ve realized that there are greater challenges in life than getting your dick wet.

Lastly, don’t forget to eat that pussy!