Why Pride Will Never Die

Pride is such an interesting emotion.

True pride seems to be critical for a man’s motivation, confidence, and discipline. False pride, however, goes hand in hand with the ego.

So I often wrestle with the question: If I overcome my false pride, how much true pride will there be? How strongly can inspiration pull me toward a goal when desperation (fear, insecurity, etc.) ceases to push me forward?

If I destroy my ego, how much of my motivation, confidence, and discipline will there be left? Could true pride be an illusion? Maybe even an illusion created by the ego?

Today, at the end of my guided body scan meditation, I noticed something that I had not noticed before. In closing the session, Jon Kabat-Zinn speaks, “You may wish to congratulate yourself on having taken the time and the energy to nourish yourself in this way (Guided Mindfulness Meditation, CD1).”

I repeat, “You may wish to congratulate yourself.” — That is an invitation to be prideful: to take pride in what I have done, to take pride in having completed the meditation session.

Now why is this so interesting?

It is interesting because it shows that even something as ego-averse as mindfulness practice is closely tied to the emotion of pride.

Without pride, I would not have had the motivation to meditate. Without pride, I would not have had the confidence that I can stay still for 45 minutes. Without pride, I would not have had the discipline to keep at it and to begin in the first place.

Regular meditation requires focus and commitment; it requires willpower. Thus, it requires a sense of pride. This pride, I think, is true.

It does not say, “Look at me, I meditate, I work on myself, I am Mr. Self Improvement, while all those other, those ‘mediocre’ people are just being lazy or trapped in their egos.” No.

Rather, true pride is a self-directed gratitude: a gratefulness for one’s Will.